Monday, September 16, 2013

Don't Be Too Hard on Yourself

In the last week or two, I've been getting kind of down on myself.  You know how it is - we've all been there. 

You want to see this in the mirror:

But what you actually see is this:

Instead of wallowing, when I have moments like this, I remind myself where I've been and how far I've come.  This is what I want to remember - that I am working HARD to get where I want to be. 

I remember that I started in 2009 at 240 lbs.  Today, I am 60+ pounds less.  Yes, I don't see that "number" change much anymore.  Often, I tell myself not to focus on that "number", which is harder to do than you think. 

I remind myself that the changes that are happening now are more subtle.  I can see my collar bone becoming more defined.  The wobble under my arm is starting to shrink.  All the while, I keep working on my strength training and now have muscle in places I never knew possible.

I think about how I am a certified group fitness instructor, and that I regularly hear my students say things like "I don't know how you do that, it's so hard!".  I reflect on my other physical achievements as well, like the fact that I just finished my 3rd half marathon at a personal best of under 2 hours 30 minutes.

Some days thinking about all my achievements works, some days... well, like I said.  We've all been there.

But almost as if the cosmos knew I needed a boost, I had to go in for a check up on Friday... technically, it was just to a minute clinic to get my blood tests run before my insurance slapped me for not getting it done prior to open enrollment, but it was a checkup all the same.  That's where something amazing happened.

I passed every metric my health program put out for me.  Every.  Single.  One. 

That is something I have never done before!  Even as a kid the doctor always had something on the chart that made me put a black mark on my mental list.

And not only did I pass all the metrics (including hitting suggested BMI targets which you know I hate), I had some amazing improvements since the last time I had the same test run at the end of 2010:

     - I am down almost 10% in overall body weight, and also in BMI points.
     - I have increased my HDL (good cholesterol caused by exercise and healthy weight) by 39%
     - I have MASSIVELY reduced my triglycerides (cholesterol caused by eating refined foods, sugars, alcohol).  In fact, this number was so low that the machine struggled to calculate my total cholesterol and I had to have my blood drawn TWICE to get a result. 

And even better - I FINALLY had a nurse who told me that I should forget my BMI, because what she was seeing based on my blood tests and physical appearance was an extremely healthy person.

Finally, it's like I flipped a switch in my head.  I realized I was being way too hard on myself.

And to that point I want to say...

When you are having a day like this - stay strong.  Remember where you started, where you want to go... and don't worry about how quickly you get there.  It will come in time.



  1. Screw Megan Fox. You ROCK!!! All hard work, no plastic surgery, and you are a lot funnier.

    1. LOL! Thanks! Not to mention, I have a lot fewer trashy tattoos.

      And I don't need to suck on a cherry to look sexy. I have sparkly skirts and obnoxious spandex leggings for that.

  2. Replies
    1. Thanks! Positive energy to you as well!