Monday, September 8, 2014

Product Review: Victoria's Secret Sport Underwear

I think by now, most of you know what Victoria's Secret has been working to promote their sport's line.  Yes, that's right - sports bras like this (as well as other workout clothing items):

However impractical I might think some of their designs are, I have to be fair and say that a lot of people seem to like Victoria's Secret's sports bras.  (Although, I have purchased some of them in the past, and they just don't work for me.  Oh well - to each their own.)

Anyway!  In an effort to expand their sports product line, Victoria's Secret has apparently decided to introduce sport panties.  Hence why I am writing this blog today.

How did I find out about these panties, you ask?

Well, I got a free panty coupon in the mail, of course!

Never being one to refuse something that's free, within the first few days of validity, I went in store and used the coupon.  Within minutes, I walked out with one of these.

Yeah, you're seeing that right.  A basic black ... thong.

I have to admit, I was a little shocked at that myself.  My initial reaction was "A panty that's being marketed as sports friendly, in a thong cut?!  How does that even go together?  Sounds like instant butt chafe to me..."  But it was my own fault.  When I read the coupon, all I saw was "free panty".  I neglected to read further into the details to discover it was only for their basic, solid black panty in a thong cut.

Before admitting defeat, I desperately started looking through the adjacent drawers, hoping I could find a normal panty and talk the woman at the counter into giving me that instead of the thong.  But, after failing to find anything EXCEPT black sport thongs, I kind of came to grips with the reality. 

Thong it is.

So I walked up to the counter, turned in my coupon, and walked out the door with a free panty valued at something like $12.50.  (Or 3 for $33, as their heart shaped promotional sign shouted at me in bright pink letters.)

Product Testing

I can't say I was exactly thrilled to give these underwear a go.  And here's even more of a dig to all this: after I got home I found out that apparently online, they also offer the sports panty in a hip hugger cut. 

What?!  Let's just think about that for a minute... 

Victoria's Secret decided to launch a brand new line, geared at athletic women... in a thong cut only?  Even though they were offering a hip hugger option, they still only wanted women to test drive the underwear in thong cut? 

I mean, I don't know about you, but I gave up on wearing thongs even casually pretty much once I left college.  Only binge drinking and multi-hour cram sessions fueled by ramen noodles could induce enough brain haze to make me disregard the feeling of having something wedged my ass for 18+ hours straight. 

And then add to that the idea of working out in a thong?  No. 

Besides, they make "no show" panties now.  You don't HAVE to wear a thong to avoid a VPL.  So why would you?

Anyway, I am derailing here.  The real point of this post is to review the underwear.  So, let's get back on topic.

First off, let's talk quality.  When initially seeing the panty, I had to say, I was not impressed.  The fabric was a very light weight feeling poly blend of some sort, and looked very ... unfinished.  And felt flimsy.  There was no hemmed edge on the waist or leg holes, which meant that the only sewing used on the entire garment was to stitch the seams together at the hips and in the crotch gusset.  There wasn't even heat sealing/welding on the edges of the raw fabric (like some seamless panties now-a-days tend to use). 

This lack of finishing, of course, made the product developer in me leery right away.  So, what did I start doing before wearing the underwear?  Stretching the thong piece several inches to see if the fabric will start to unravel at the edge. 

Technically, I did that before I even left the store.  Yes, I was testing butt floss for strength - in public.

I don't know why I do what I do.  Don't ask.  I can only justify my motives by saying this: wearing a thong is naked enough for me, I certainly didn't want to risk it ripping and totally falling off.  Worse yet, having it ... ah ... go where no man has gone before.

After my stretch test, I was impressed to see that the fabric did not start to fray at all.  While the fabric did stretch thin enough to make me leery, I figured I would be ok. 

Step two in the product testing - time to put it on.

Since I pretty much live in yoga pants on the weekend (when I'm hanging out casually, not when I'm trying to dress up or anything), and not wanting to deal with renegade underwear while at the office, testing out my new underwear on a Saturday seemed like a natural fit.  Ok then - let's do this.

Overall, upon first fit, the underwear felt ... fine.  Nothing fancy one way or another.  They were comfortable, there were no rough seams, but they weren't like the greatest thing ever.

However, once I got dressed and started moving around the house...

Yeah.  I wasn't impressed.  The underwear was riding up all over the place.  And I wasn't even "sport-ing" yet.

Good thing I was still at home and could be un-lady-like.

Not wanting to waste a free pair of clean undies, I decided to just roll with it and see if the day got any better.  Honestly, things didn't really improve.  I basically wore them for a long car ride and constantly was pulling at things to make them sit straight.  Considering that fact, I declined the thought of trying to go for a run or do some sort of other workout.

Although, to be fair, I did get a little active in them:


After wearing these for a full day, I have to say - I still hate thongs.  Also, there is no way I would consider doing any kind of "sport" in these.

Also, I did notice a strange phenomenon where the fabric along the edges of the thong started to curl up on itself.  In fact, entire back side of the thong had rolled into itself - from both sides!  Perhaps the fabric back there was cut too narrowly and didn't have enough surface tension to remain laying flat?  I don't know, but it is very odd.

Now, to be fair, I can say the fabric did feel nice, and I'm sure in a more traditional, brief type cut, these might not be too bad... if you don't mind paying $33 for three pairs of underwear.

But in my opinion, there are much cheaper options available ... that aren't thongs.  Why not choose those instead?

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